Saiyuki Party - TV Shopping (all)

TV Shopping is group of tracks (3, 5, 7, & 9) on Saiyuki's Drama CD, Saiyuki Party.

Story
The Sanzo Ikkou tries to earn some extra cash through infomercials...

Sanzo TV Shopping (track 3)
[Hakkai]: Saiyuki Drama CD Shopping~!

(applause)

[Gojyo]: Mr. Hakkai, what is it you’re going to introduce to us today?

[Hakkai]: It’s the item you’ve all been waiting for: Genjyo Sanzo-sama’s beloved special paper fan!

[Goku]: Woah, you mean, that paper fan?

[Hakkai]: Yes! With this, you too can experience that Sanzo Priest feeling! Easily taken out anywhere, any time, it’s so easy!

[Goku]: This is an excellent item, with memo paper on the back.

[Gojyo]: But that has to be expensive.

[Hakkai]: Not at all! This time we have an easily requestable, special price offer!

[Goku]: And, if you order now, we’ll include another of the same item!

[Hakkai]: Ehh? One more of the same item? What a generous offer!

[Gojyo]: Uh, I don’t think anyone really needs that. ..

[Sanzo]: Hey, you three. What the hell do you think you’re doing?

(Pa! Pa! Goku and Gojyo get hit with the fan)

[Goku and Gojyo]: Oww!!!

[Hakkai]: Just like this, the power of destroying things is amazing.

[Gojyo]: You’re really selling this?!

(audience laughs)

END.

Gojyo TV Shopping (track 5)
[Goku]: Saiyuki Drama CD Shopping~!

(applause)

[Hakkai]: The item we’re introducing today is…

[Goku]: Sha Gojyo’s beloved bandana!

[Hakkai]: An excellent item, one of a series, it's made of all-natural materials and very easy on the skin.

[Goku]: It’s also the perfect size to wrap a bento box in!

[Gojyo]: Hey! You saying my head is bento-sized?

[Hakkai]: How it’s used is up to you; the possibilities are as endless as your dreams.

[Goku]: Product # 2: Sha Gojyo’s bandana. We have a limited supply, so please place your order soon!

[Sanzo]: (to Gojyo) You’re buying all the left over stock.

[Gojyo]: Whaat? I never heard that!

END.

Hakkai TV Shopping (track 7)
[Goku]: Saiyuki Drama CD Shopping~!

(applause)

[Goku]: This is the item we’re introducing today!

[Hakkai]: The Cho Hakkai –model titanium frame glasses here.

[Goku]: “Cho Hakkai –model”? Hakkai, you made those?

[Gojyo]: Nope, never seen ‘em before.

[Hakkai]: (laughing) I wouldn’t make things like that. It’s embarrassing.

[Sanzo]: So you approved them then.

[Hakkai]: Of course not. This is just for fun. No one would believe…

(riiiiiiing riiiiiiing riiiiiiing, numerous phones go off)

[Sanzo]: Hey. The orders are rushing in.

[Goku]: Ah! Hakkai and Jeep are gone!

[Gojyo]: Agh, they ran away huh?

(phones continue to ring)

END.

Goku TV Shopping (track 9)
[Hakkai]: Saiyuki Drama CD Shopping~!

(applause)

[Hakkai]: Here is the item we’re introducing today: Mr. Son Goku!

[Goku]: Huh? Me?

[Hakkai]: Ultimately, his distinguishing feature is the strength of his stomach.

[Gojyo]: Yes! We promise, your raw garbage will experience a sharp decrease!

[Hakkai]: That’s amazing! Engel’s coefficient* will increase, however.

[Gojyo]: Product number 4: Son Goku. We only have one in stock.

[Hakkai]: Please call right now!

(sudden silence, as though there’s a recording failure)

[Sanzo]: The order phones aren’t ringing.

[Hakkai]: …Yes. Not a one.

[Gojyo]: Hey Sanzo, take back the stock.

[Sanzo]: I refuse.

(ding!)

END.

>*Engel's coefficient = the proportion of income that goes to food

Reference

 * Translations courtesy of KonnyakuHonyaku on their Livejournal page.